I wonder if I am approaching this exploration with a conditioning. Is this whole approach conditioned, all this interest, all my initiative? If there were conditioning, how does it influence this exploration?
I see a great influence that, I speculate, is related to this supposed conditioning: my Ego frequently believes everything he says to himself and, even more so, when he is not aware of himself. My Ego is affected by the influence of believing what he says to himself. And this is key. I only question my own thoughts when I am aware that I have them and what is repeated frequently is that I do not question the thoughts that arise when I am not paying attention. And the thoughts that I have been having, to which I have adhered without questioning, are what they tell me that knowing myself will bring me change and satisfaction and that is why I want to know myself. It is so strange to discover that the intimate repetition of this psychological behavior, without the participation of my attention, has forged a criterion without any foundation, something as alive as a glass / prism from where I will produce future exploration. Thus, for all the above, my desire to meet me has arisen. That's crazy!
Honestly, with the whole movement of the past that one brings to the present, the whole issue of exploration itself becomes tremendously complex. Actually, one is not entirely innocent when it comes to observing oneself: the usual observation is vitiated. And it is already known that a spotted eye will see everything with spots... So, what remains, if even the slightest intention to meet can be totally muddy? Bruce Lee rehearsed an answer: Get rid of what is not essential.
The observation itself is loaded, full, of issues that make up the Ego, which does not let one see the simple. If someone else wishes to know himself, what remains is a subtraction path (not a sum), so as to remove and not continue adding. And if you think about it carefully, you can discover as inappropriate the approach that places an Ego as likely to be a data to add to the memory drawer. A data is something dead, static, that no longer moves. And a human being is something tremendously alive, new, moving from here to there, much more than a mere fact that says "I like pizzas" or "cloudy days are boring." Living the "Being" has no memory *.
One cannot approach oneself if one does not clean the glass with which one will make a vision of oneself. That crystal is a combo of images, thoughts, memories, feelings, emotions and more thoughts, all of which make up the Ego. If that vision is charged, then it must be downloaded; If the usual Ego already has a path, it is necessary to retrace its own steps. The road is a negative one, of subtraction. In this way the look towards oneself, the holy approach, the exploration of the Ego, can get on the vehicle of good sense, discovering itself in its own traps and thus describe the clear line, which is felt in the chest, product of hit the mark. Because when it connects with what "is" oneself, something happens to the chest, subtracting makes the body lightweight and the human chest feels it.
And I must make a caveat: everything that has been written here will appear to those who read it as the product of an intellectual approach, of thought with more thought. The occasional reader, if he does not investigate for himself, with this intellectuality written here will only go to the known places. One must have the courage to explore oneself. Only one impeccable intention is enough. Words are a sign that point to something, but they are never the point. Here my finger is pointing.
Finally, just remember (in this case remind myself) the following: that although I have managed to realize that I am also being and acting in the moments when "I am being and acting", this deployment of the Ego is not entirely conscious for myself, so there is an immense philosopher's stone that supports the mysterious set of what any Ego "is" in this world, while the blank wall is still intact, waiting to be revealed in the next step. In a sensible way [of personal self-discovery?] one must find oneself in a way that is a friend of oneself. Only in this attitude of friendship with oneself can one have the patience for exploration that, outside the Ego, will bring blessed green pastures and no more white walls.
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| Man pulling the Ego by aungkarns. openclipart.org |
I see a great influence that, I speculate, is related to this supposed conditioning: my Ego frequently believes everything he says to himself and, even more so, when he is not aware of himself. My Ego is affected by the influence of believing what he says to himself. And this is key. I only question my own thoughts when I am aware that I have them and what is repeated frequently is that I do not question the thoughts that arise when I am not paying attention. And the thoughts that I have been having, to which I have adhered without questioning, are what they tell me that knowing myself will bring me change and satisfaction and that is why I want to know myself. It is so strange to discover that the intimate repetition of this psychological behavior, without the participation of my attention, has forged a criterion without any foundation, something as alive as a glass / prism from where I will produce future exploration. Thus, for all the above, my desire to meet me has arisen. That's crazy!
Honestly, with the whole movement of the past that one brings to the present, the whole issue of exploration itself becomes tremendously complex. Actually, one is not entirely innocent when it comes to observing oneself: the usual observation is vitiated. And it is already known that a spotted eye will see everything with spots... So, what remains, if even the slightest intention to meet can be totally muddy? Bruce Lee rehearsed an answer: Get rid of what is not essential.
The observation itself is loaded, full, of issues that make up the Ego, which does not let one see the simple. If someone else wishes to know himself, what remains is a subtraction path (not a sum), so as to remove and not continue adding. And if you think about it carefully, you can discover as inappropriate the approach that places an Ego as likely to be a data to add to the memory drawer. A data is something dead, static, that no longer moves. And a human being is something tremendously alive, new, moving from here to there, much more than a mere fact that says "I like pizzas" or "cloudy days are boring." Living the "Being" has no memory *.
One cannot approach oneself if one does not clean the glass with which one will make a vision of oneself. That crystal is a combo of images, thoughts, memories, feelings, emotions and more thoughts, all of which make up the Ego. If that vision is charged, then it must be downloaded; If the usual Ego already has a path, it is necessary to retrace its own steps. The road is a negative one, of subtraction. In this way the look towards oneself, the holy approach, the exploration of the Ego, can get on the vehicle of good sense, discovering itself in its own traps and thus describe the clear line, which is felt in the chest, product of hit the mark. Because when it connects with what "is" oneself, something happens to the chest, subtracting makes the body lightweight and the human chest feels it.
And I must make a caveat: everything that has been written here will appear to those who read it as the product of an intellectual approach, of thought with more thought. The occasional reader, if he does not investigate for himself, with this intellectuality written here will only go to the known places. One must have the courage to explore oneself. Only one impeccable intention is enough. Words are a sign that point to something, but they are never the point. Here my finger is pointing.
Finally, just remember (in this case remind myself) the following: that although I have managed to realize that I am also being and acting in the moments when "I am being and acting", this deployment of the Ego is not entirely conscious for myself, so there is an immense philosopher's stone that supports the mysterious set of what any Ego "is" in this world, while the blank wall is still intact, waiting to be revealed in the next step. In a sensible way [of personal self-discovery?] one must find oneself in a way that is a friend of oneself. Only in this attitude of friendship with oneself can one have the patience for exploration that, outside the Ego, will bring blessed green pastures and no more white walls.
Written on August 25, 2011.
Last edition, 05/05/2019.
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